The funniest—and hottest—mom on Twitter plunges you headlong into her life in her hilarious memoir, Everything Is Perfect When You’re a Liar. With her trademark blend of biting wit and self-deprecation, this side-splitting book of essays will make you laugh, cry, and then laugh some more.

Sharing her life story in Everything Is Perfect When You’re A Liar, the straight-talking and riotously funny blogger Oxford opens up about her childhood, motherhood, and life with that zany, skewed perspective that make her the toast of the social media world. Is Kelly the next David Sedaris? The next Chelsea Handler? The next Sloane Crosley? No—they were the last Kelly Oxford…

Kelly Oxford is . . .

A wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds

Not the queen of the world

An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher

The kid who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush

A born salesman

Capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20

That girl who peed her pants in the gas station that one time

Totally an expert on strep throat

Incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her boyfriend

A writer

A certified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes

"Not fat enough to be super snuggly." —Bea, age four

Not above using raspberry-studded sh*t to get out of a speeding ticket

"Bitingly funny. But everybody knows that." —Roger Ebert

Sad that David Copperfield doesn't own a falcon

A terrible liar