The wind flicks wet hair across her face, and she screws
up her eyes against the rain. Weather like this makes
everyone hurry, scurrying past on slip- pery pavements
with chins buried into collars. Passing cars send spray
over their shoes, the noise from the traffic making it
impossible for her to hear more than a few words of the
chattering update that began the moment the school gates
opened. The words burst from him without a break, mixed
up and back to front in the excitement of this new world
into which he is growing. She makes out something about
a best friend, a project on space, a new teacher, and she
looks down and smiles at his excitement, ignoring the
cold that weaves its way through her scarf. The boy
grins back and tips up his head to taste the rain, wet
eyelashes forming dark clumps around his eyes.
“And I can write my name, Mummy!”
“You clever boy,” she says, stopping to kiss him fiercely
on his damp forehead. “Will you show me when you get
home?”
They walk as quickly as five-year-old legs will allow,
her free hand holding his bag, which bangs against her
knees.
Nearly home.
Headlights glint on wet tarmac, the dazzle blinding them
every few seconds. Waiting for a break in the traffic,
they duck across the busy road, and she tightens her grip
on the small hand inside the soft woolen glove, so he has
to run to keep up. Sodden leaves cling to the railings,
their bright colors darkening to a dull brown.
They reach the quiet street where home lies just around
the corner, its seductive warmth a welcome thought.
Secure in the environs of her own neighborhood, she lets
go of his hand to push away the strands of wet hair from
her eyes, laughing at the cascade of droplets it causes.
“There,” she says, as they make the final turn. “I left
the light on for us.” Across the street, a redbrick
house. Two bedrooms, the tiniest kitchen,and a garden
crammed with pots she always means to fill with flowers.
Just the two of them.
“I’ll race you, Mummy . . .”
He never stops moving; full of energy from the second he
wakes until the moment his head hits the pillow. Always
jumping, always running.
“Come on!”
It happens in a heartbeat; the feeling of space by her
side as he runs toward home, seeking out the warmth of
the hall, with its porch-light glow. Milk, biscuit,
twenty minutes of television, fish fingers for tea. The
routine they have fallen into so quickly, barely halfway
through that first term at school.
The car comes from nowhere. The squeal of wet brakes, the
thud of a five- year-old boy hitting the windshield and
the spin of his body before it slams onto the road.
Running after him, in front of the still-moving car.
Slipping and falling heavily onto outstretched hands, the
impact taking her breath away.
It’s over in a heartbeat.
She crouches beside him, searching frantically for a
pulse. Watches her breath form a solitary white cloud in
the air. Sees the dark shadow form beneath his head and
hears her own wail as though it comes from someone else.
She looks up at the blurred windshield, its wipers
sending arcs of water into the darkening night, and she
screams at the unseen driver to help her.
Leaning forward to warm the boy with her body, she holds
her coat open over them both, its hem drinking surface
water from the road. And as she kisses him and begs him
to wake, the pool of yellow light that envel- ops them
shrinks to a narrow beam; the car backs up the street.
Engine whining in admonishment, the car makes two, three,
four attempts to turn in the narrow street, scraping in
its haste against one of the huge sycamore sentries
lining the road.
And then it is dark.